This one goes out to all my home skillets in south dakota! wish i could be camping with you dudes right now. despite what some of you think, i never got to camp while i lived there :(

we went to the bar tonight and there were a ton of crazy middle aged ladies singing old country songs, and a bunch of sub-12 year olds, which was really weird at 11:30pm (eastern daylight time).

there was also a couple that was like 18, and that bitch was grinding all up on this dude the whole night. to old country. it was very inappropriate.

that's it. ill make a more relevant post in the morning. thanks for rescuing me from the shitty country-oke. master ron would have been loved it.

Presenting the White Whale MACH II




Bitchin'

I am in the market for a car. Since I work 6am-2pm, and since the buses do not run until after 6am, I must provide my own transportation this summer. Today we drove to Killington, which is about 30 miles away, to scope out a 1990 Ford Taurus that was advertised on Vehix.com. It had some rust issues on all the wheelwells, but shockingly only had 50,000 miles on it. Not bad for a 19 year old car. What IS bad about this car is that the rear suspension rides about 5 inches low, and there is a horrible rattle on the rear passenger side while driving.

Tricky recommended I pursue other vehicles. I agreed. Tomorrow I'm going to check out a used Subaru Legacy at a dealership here in White River. I hope it's not a total piece of shit. It's fun to have a week of training in car sales, so I know exactly what the salesman are trying to pull.

Yesterday we went through a couple dealerships, all of them owned by MILLER AUTO GROUP, which is notorious for staffing needy douchebags. At the first store, a salesman named Jason actually stepped in front of our car as we cruised through the lot, in order to get us to stop and talk to him. I told him I was looking for something under 3k, and he didn't have anything for me. But he still tried to talk us into looking at other stuff. We declined.

At the second store, we cruised through quickly once I noticed they were all new cars. One salesman started jogging across the lot towards our moving car, and another popped out of the building just as we passed, and merely waved and said "Have a good day". The jogger yelled "Wait, come back!!!" as we sped out of the lot.

After checking out the Taurus piece of shit, we stopped at this huge antique mall near Quechee. We spent at least 2 and a half hours there looking at all the crazy shit. Here's just a taste.

Nah, I already dropped mine off at the pool.

Some kind of crazy time traveling chair.

Demure weirdpig.

There was a case full of mint-in-package original Star Wars figures. I feel sorry for whoever spends 75 dollars on the fat shirtless guy who blubbers when the Rancor dies.

Nothing to say here, really.

AHHHHHHHHHH. This is a CHAIR by the way.

Pimp cane.

WAMPASTOMPA!

Apparently they sell crack pipes at antique stores now.

E.T. is trippin balls.

Jarshark.

Bring me a basket of stuffed ducklings immediately!

I hope you enjoyed this montage of weird shit from the antique store. I would have taken more (because there is much much more to show), but my eyes tend to unfocus and fall out of my head after looking at shelves crammed full of weird stuff for two and a half hours. Until next time....





SWEET DREAMS!

i just rickrolled karaoke at the bar

I was just standing in the Wal-Mart parking lot enjoying a cigarette while Anna was purchasing hair dye. I looked to the north and saw a massive wall of black clouds rolling in fast. Suddenly over the mountains, a white mist appeared and in a matter of 20 seconds completely enveloped the top ridge and everything else in front of it. Anna came out and said "I'm getting in the car", and no sooner had we shut the doors than a massive torrent exploded over the parking lot. We drove home through it and now, ten minutes later, it's just lightly sprinkling.

Welcome to Vermont.

Heaven and Hell (which is Black Sabbath - Ozzy + MOTHERFUCKIN DIO) and Coheed and Cambria are touring this summer. They're playing in Boston on the 28th of August. Tickets go on sale this Friday.

I'm doing this.

Yesterday I went in for orientation at BJ's Wholesale, for the position of Receiving Loss Prevention Officer. Basically I will be monitoring shipping and receiving to ensure that no funny business goes down. I think it will be a good job, there is a lot of opportunity for advancement and raises. The operations manager Charles is a really cool guy, and he cursed quite a bit during my training. That's always a good sign. I know for sure he's going to be a hell of a lot more fun to work with than Brian.

BJ's has a company wide policy that the breakroom is always stocked with bread, peanut butter, and jelly. So if any employee forgets their lunch, they can still have a PBJ. Also, every employee over the age of 18 is issued a boxcutter upon employment. This place seems pretty cool.

My mom learned how to text message. They are infrequent, but everytime I hear that mechanical female voice say "message received", I'm hoping it will be glad tidings from my friends back home. Or possibly something from Anna. But then I flip open my phone to see a message from "Mom", and I am confused.

Parents texting will be the end of us all.

In the spirit of Sunday morning Breakfast Party, I made a waffle sammich today:


I try and cook some breakfast delights every Sunday morning, but obviously it's not the same as hanging out with all the good people on Moraine Drive. Spending an entire day gorging on breakfast goodies, and then watching shitty movies on a big screen hi-def television; it's a good thing. I do miss that.